Making Things Bearable
by butterfly.cell
Summary: Jack, Ianto and John are the last ones in the hub after the events inflicted by Gray. Jack is in the morgue and Ianto and John get a chance to talk. Crap summary! X 2x13 spoilers X Jack/Ianto plus John X


**Pairings**: Jack/Ianto, hints at Jack/John and Ianto/John

**Timeline**: Set after 2x13 (Major spoilers, haven't seen it? Don't read this)

**Rating**: T/K+

**Author's Note**: I've jiggled the timeline of 2x13 round a little so that the scene with Jack freezing and storing Gray's body and John saying goodbye is the very end, after they've cleaned out Owen and Tosh's workstations and packed up. I really wanted to do something based on John leaving and an interaction between him and Ianto, so I came up with this brief idea, and fleshed it out. I found it nice to write and quite a good release after everything that happened in that finale!

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**Disclaimer**: I do not own anything below, they belong to Russel T. Davies, John Barrowman, Gareth David-Lloyd and James Marsters (sexy beasts). Never fear, all characters will be handed back as good!

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**Making Things Bearable**

John watched Jack carefully as the man left the room silently, knowing he was heading down to the morgue to finish dealing with Gray's body. He sighed heavily, rubbing the back of his neck with his uninjured hand and looking around._ I shouldn't be here, not where she died and he worked. They should at least have this place for a while_. He quickly acted on the thought and headed out of the autopsy bay, ignoring the two empty workstations in the hub.

He glanced around and noted that Gwen had already left, leaving only one other member to apologise to before he left. Without a second thought, he headed into Jack's office, somehow knowing that the young man would be waiting in there. Ianto looked up and John managed a small smile as he walked in sheepishly. Of all the places in the universe, this small underground base was the most intimidating and humbling place he could think of. It had seen so much pain and death in its time that it almost warped the senses to try and comprehend it.

"Ianto." He inclined his head a little and felt a light relief when the other man acknowledged him.

"What're you going to do now then?" John was taken aback by the genuine interest from the young man, and when he gestured to the visitor's chair, John promptly took it.

"Uh, well, I think I'm going to travel a bit, you know, see the world." He managed a smile and chuckled gently. "I think it's time I saw just what it was that won Jack Harkness over."

"It's not much really, especially now." Ianto slumped back against the sofa and looked away. "It seems that all we do is fight and kill each other. It hardly seems worth saving at the moment."

"Don't say that, Eye-Candy." John looked at him with a frown creasing his forehead. "I know I'm not exactly the best person to say this, but if you can't save your own planet, what is there to save?"

"There're people." Ianto's reply was sudden, almost blurted out and John's eyebrows rose a little in amusement. "There're a few people that are worth saving."

Ianto stopped his explanation there and John respected that. He was hardly going to push the young man, not when the deaths of his colleagues were partly down to him. If he'd been stronger, smarter, he could've found a way to counteract Gray, to save at least one of them. Suddenly killing held little of the appeal that it used to. Maybe he'd finally completed the steps of the murder rehab.

"Lets have a toast!" John jumped up and headed for the bottle of whiskey he'd just seen on a shelf across the room from him. He pulled two of the glass tumblers from the shelf and set them down, pouring a healthy measure of the liquor into each before handing one over to Ianto. "A toast to Toshiko Sato and Owen Harper."

"They did good." Ianto nodded and knocked back the entire contents of his glass, swallowing hard to fight back the burning sensation in his mouth and to keep the tears from falling again. He'd only just managed to control himself properly.

"They really did…" John took a sip of his drink and looked down at the floor, wondering who Jack would be employing to fill their places. Would he fill the void with people as close to the deceased as he could? Or would he go for the complete opposites? He shook his head slightly, not envying the position Jack was in. He had to replace two of his closest friends and work partners at the same time, and he'd barely have a chance to grieve. Torchwood was completely relentless in its work pace. _Since when did I become so empathetic?_ John mused silently.

_Since you caused so much pain to Jack and the others…_ The voice that answered was a little alarming, but John had to concede that it was right. He knew now that Jack had a new life, a new love. Neither of them had a place for John anymore, and for once, he respected that. He may not like the situation, but kicking and screaming wasn't going to make it better.

"There was this one time, a little bit after I joined, when Tosh was explaining her new system to me." John looked up to find Ianto looking wistfully at the glass in his hand and remained silent for the man to continue. "She seemed so happy that I understood what she was talking about, that I wasn't just humouring her. She didn't notice, but I saw Owen trying his best to follow the conversation, to understand what she was saying. He never did get the hang of that program."

Ianto gave a slight chuckle and got up, taking his glass out of the office and making his way through the hub to the kitchen area. John waited for a moment before following him.

"They died doing their job, doing their job well. They saved Cardiff from a destruction that shouldn't have been inflicted on it." John felt the guilt winding it's way through his torso, choking his lungs and throttling his heart. "I'm sorry for what I did, Ianto."

Ianto turned and looked at him, fixing him with a penetrating stare. John met it defiantly, trying his best not to turn around and run as far from the hub as he could. The past few days under Gray's control, blowing up the city and burying Jack alive, they'd changed him, softened him. He felt older, wiser than he had ever done before. The world was bigger and just a shade darker. He had no doubt that Ianto felt that shift in perception too.

"It wasn't your fault, John." Ianto turned back to the sink and started to run hot water into it. "It was nobody's fault."

John nodded slowly, struggling to find words to break the silence that had formed between them. He hadn't expected the young man to be so understanding, so forgiving. It occurred to him then that Jack had already explained what had gone on in 27AD Cardiff. This man before him was one of the reasons he'd lost Jack to this planet, one of the reasons that they'd never travel the stars again.

He felt no resentment, just curiosity, so when felt a sudden urge sparking through him, he reached out and pulled Ianto around, putting a hand to his face and kissing him hard. He was surprised to find little resistance from the young man, and even more surprised when he relaxed into it slightly.

After a few moments, John pulled away, satisfied. Ianto looked at him, confused, blushing a little. John just smirked in return.

"Guys?" Jack's voice echoed up from the entrance to the vaults and Ianto almost leapt out of his skin.

"Over here, in the kitchen area." John suppressed a bark of laughter and called back to Jack, smiling as Ianto set about making Jack a cup of coffee. He vaguely wondered what Jack would say if he found out about him having a taste of his latest lover.

"Coffee, sir?" Jack moved straight over to Ianto and slipped his arms around the young man's waist, nuzzling his nose into his neck. He sighed heavily and made a noise of encouragement. John smiled wistfully at the two men and sighed inwardly. He really did love Jack Harkness, but now he understood completely why he stayed.

"Thank you, Ianto." Jack took his coffee and inhaled the earthy aroma before gulping down a mouthful and savouring the taste, flashing a look of appreciation at the Welshman. Then he looked at John. "If you need some help to get started I'm sure we could come up with something. A loan so to speak."

John just shook his head. "No. I'm going to do this on my own, my little project." He nodded in thanks and moved forwards, putting his glass in the sink and leaning up to whisper in Ianto's ear.

Jack raised an eyebrow as Ianto's eyes dropped to the floor and a secretive smile crept across his face. John pulled away and smiled knowingly at him, before inclining his head again and saluting with a wink. Jack smiled and pressed a button on his wrist strap, lowering the 'invisible lift', John heading over to meet it. He hopped onto the slab and gave both men a hearty grin.

"Don't forget me boys." He winked again and shoved his hands into his pockets, looking up as Jack chuckled and pressed a second button to make the slab rise up through the pavement.

"Was that wise, sir? Letting him go off into the world, I mean." Ianto looked over at him, leaning back on the counter. The young man looked tired, and Jack didn't blame him. He could feel the weariness of the past day fighting inside himself. It had been heart wrenching to pack up the two workstations, to box and bag all the personal items of their friends, knowing the possessions would go straight into storage.

"He's changed… I don't know what it is about him, but something that's happened has changed him. I don't think we have anything to worry about." Jack smiled ruefully and drained his mug, sighing in appreciation as he moved over to the young man and placed the mug next to the two glasses in the sink.

He stood in front of Ianto and looked into the young man's eyes. Ianto noticed that his demeanour wasn't reflected in them and pulled him gently into a hug, Jack's arms winding around him as he sighed heavily into the young man's shoulder again. Ianto felt Jack's torso tense up as he started to cry, slumping a little more into his arms. He just made soothing noises and rubbed his back until Jack had gotten it all out of his system.

Ianto couldn't begin to understand what Jack was going through, as he only knew part of the story. He knew that Jack had spent years searching for his brother, long, lonely years with absolutely no traces or hints to follow. He'd moved away from his mother after returning empty handed for the final time, unable to look at the disappointment in her face every time the door opened or the telephone rang.

To give up such a large part of your life, a life that could've ended at any time, was one thing, but to have the person you'd been searching for try to destroy you was another. The malicious hatred that Gray had held for Jack had been so unexpected and unpleasant that Ianto secretly agreed with John. Maybe death was the best thing for the man now. His mind had been broken by his torturers, and all his hate channelled at the one person he could find to blame.

The repercussions of that small action, that accident that had occurred all those years ago, were huge, physically and mentally. It had changed the two boys' lives forever. Ianto couldn't begin to understand how much it must be tearing Jack apart. He just knew he'd be there to pick the pieces up whenever he was needed.

Jack knew it as well, thankful for the comforting presence, the warmth of the body holding him tightly, the knowledge that Ianto would be there, even after everything he'd done. It was that which made him look up and kiss the young man gently, deeply, on the lips. Ianto leaned in and held Jack close to him, enjoying the strong hands wrapped around him.

"Come on, lets go home." Ianto finally pulled away a little, taking hold of one of Jack's hands and whispering in his ear. The older man nodded and let Ianto lead him from the hub, away from the empty work stations and his brother's frozen body.

Jack felt the tension start to slip away as they drive further from their work place, to Ianto's cosy little flat on the outskirts of the city. It was only really now, after those thousands of years trapped under ground, suffocating and choking, that he realised that he considered the flat, more than the hub, his home. It was everything he needed; safe from prying eyes, comfortable and welcoming. He did dread the end of the work day anymore because he knew he didn't have to be alone, that Ianto wanted him to be with him.

It was one of the things that kept him going at the moment, that made all the pain and heart ache bearable, and he thought about just how lucky he was as he changed into his pyjamas and climbed into bed, burrowing down under the soft duvet. As Ianto slipped down beside him, he wrapped his arms around the man and pulled him close, glad to feel Ianto's arms sliding around his waist and resting on his back.

"Are you going to be okay, Jack?" The young man's voice was a little muffled, a little sleepy, as he looked up into Jack's eyes. The American just nodded a little and placed a kiss on Ianto's forehead before sighing gently.

"I'm going to be fine, don't worry." He smiled as he felt Ianto shift himself in his arms, nuzzling his head under his chin and shrugging a little to get comfortable. It was only after he'd stopped moving that Jack remembered something he'd been meaning to ask.

"Ianto, what did John whisper to you?" He felt Ianto stifle a yawn, and the voice that followed was clearly half asleep already.

"He said; 'Knowing it's you I lost Jack to makes it bearable'." With a final yawn, he felt Ianto's body start to relax even more, drifting off into a long awaited sleep. Jack just smiled to himself. John really had changed, and the fact that he'd seen at least some of what Jack saw in the Welshman was proof of that.


End file.
